Saturday, October 16, 2010

Romance of the Three Arcades




there is no greater declaration of love then an open declaration of love.

i went to solo-mid Cao Cao's gate and his gatrillions of soldiers rooted to the ground, armed with nothing but a packet of fried mushrooms and said,

"eh wu ji li lo lai, qi kua mai."

suddenly, Liu Bei sidestabs me with his Snake Pose Attack. disgruntled, he mumbles under his feathers,

"eh bang, why you never jio me go drink rice wine."

i felt sympathetic. in a way, he was like an ambassador, but my intentions were clear, as clear as the sun was hazing. i told him, straight up his armpit,

"5 days ago, i would have asked you go drink rice wine with me. but every night i think and think, how to war with Cao Cao before i go. then i got idea."

Liu Bei was very sad.

as Cao Cao looked increasingly overwhelmed by my overgrowing confidence (where is this confidence coming from?), Zhou Yu warns me of the advances of Red Hare riding Lu Bu on all fours to the battleground. he said,

"BRO. sniping come before sportsmanship, you better hurry up and promote yourself."

yes he was right. Lu Bu on Red Hare is scarier then a $10 bowl of Chai Por and rice. Lu Bu snipes everything, EVERYTHING, in his path, even Dong Zhuo.

a blind enemy approaches, waiting to fuck me right up the ass. the pillars of pillars of foot soldiers standing tall over one another, as if to say...

"ok. ok. i work."

more and more, Cao Cao seemed like an unattainable goal. all hope faded further into oblivion. i placed my hands in my face, and my head on my bended knees, adjacent to my left knee cap, with one corner of my eye focused on my right kidney, i begged the Heavens,

"BRO. give some chance la."

and as though God himself was a fan of Ore no Jonda-sama, a white piano of Debussy heritage falls from the sky, properly tuned and nightmare boosted.

i sat down for a roaring rendition of Wang Lee Hom's Forever Love. it blew Cao Cao's mind to smithereens and the oncoming Lu Bu to a inverse process of passing motion. i have done it. i have sang like king. the battle was won. all but one, all but one Joel, still standing in my way.

"hi, my name Ganesh. i come fix your telephone line."

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I LOVE THIS POST LA. *SUPERSNAKECOMBO*

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  3. Daw, you look like Zoe Tay after you cut your hair.

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  4. So short hair = Zoe Tay? MRMMMMM MRMMMMM

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