Sunday, August 22, 2010

Last Game then We Go

Spore quotes Jonda:
"can we just f**k the arcade and go makan proper tmr?"


Real Deal:
From my experience, Jon's statement is too bold to be accomplish. A more feasible approach is bug the hell out of everyone the moment there is full attendance.

Alternatively, do not meet anywhere with an arcade you freaking addicts.........oh the addict is me....

typical scenario
10,000 people waiting for one person
that one person's favourite phrase, "last game we go"
then in the meantime someone else will go sit down and play LOL


AND THEN! this fella see that fella last game then we go, we also go and last game then we go, then that fella see that fella see that fella last game then we go, he go change token play last 4 game then we go, then that fella see that fella change token play last 4 game with that fella see that fella last game then we go, go change 5 dollar last game then we go, see that fella change token play last 4 game then we go, then that fella see that fella last game then we go, ask his friend go change for him 4 more tokens then we go see that fella last game then we go, then his friend come and he just reach so he last game then we go, see that fella change 5 dollar last game with that fella last 4 game then we go, see that fella last game then we go, then last game want to go but here comes another last game then we go, then his friend come and change 10 dollar then we last game with that fella left 4 token last game then we go, see that fella last game with that fella, see that fella last game then we go change 4 more tokens then we go, last game, then we go see that fella last game then we go see that fella just come back from toilet last game then we go see that fella change 50 dollar last game then we go see that fella what's the word count on this, i can go on for days...

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

TVC: Teamchemist Versus Citibankers

as previously reported, Capcom was rumoured to be in the running to develop the first ever Teamchemist arcade fighting game, but it seems now that the project has fallen into their rival game developers from China, Capdog. the game in question, Teamchemist Versus Citibankers (TVC), is a 2v2 tag system arcade fighting game similar in style to familiar games such as Marvel Versus Capcom 1 and X-Men Versus Street Fighter.

Team Xialan was privileged enough to get a chance to sit down with Capdog's Community Manager and Producer, Seth Kee Lan, to talk more about Teamchemist Versus Citibankers.

tell us Seth, what drove Capdog to make such a fighting game?
well, the demand was high. and we always try to give what the fans want. Teamchemist of cause, have been like idols in the arcades, boasting such colourful characters and always spotting the highest level of fashion, we just couldn't pass out this chance.

cool. i'm a big fan of Teamchemist, so what's the roster gonna be like?
oh, all your favourite Teamchemist heroes will be there. Reset King... Seanchemist... you know, the bunch.

no Grandmasterchemist?
how could we possibly leave out Grandmasterchemist, Don the Discoverer. we've packed him in with his BOAT as well!

what about the Citibankers?
as of now, i can only reveal to you Predator Ken and Harold. we've designed all Citibankers, whether they are rushdown type, shoto type or grapple type, all Citibankers will always have a 2 direction projectile (straight and air) called the Credit Card, kind of similiar to Gambit's Cajun Strike and Gouken's EX Haodouken in Super Street Fighter 4. look out for more to be revealed in the upcoming weeks.

and for Teamchemist? what are their fighters like?
let's see... Reset King has a certain glitch in him that stops him from doing more then 2 hits in a combo, Seanchemist is unable to walk forward, unless via the Jumping Shogoku... Roy, the Straighterner, is kind of like Omega Red featuring a level 3 Tentacle Rape Ultra.

wow! that's just ultimate Teamchemist in action!
that's right... we're really looking forward to this one.

are they gonna feature alternate costumes?
yes of cause! Seanchemist's gonna have an option to switch into his Bus Conductor attire. Reset King, DJ Major Setbacks and Uncle Sagat are all able to switch into their PAF1 attire.

alright Seth, just before we go, tell us please, who is the last boss for Teamchemist Versus Citibankers?
Kara Ken.

WHAT!? no shit! Kara Ken is in the game!?
yes he is. i won't say much, except that he's equipped with a level 3 unblockable 1+(0) frame all terrain command grab ultra...

(simultaneously) "bro, i think it's best you take cab go back"

and that's all the time we have left. this is Team Xialan, feeling it with Capdog's Seth Kee Lan, signing out.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Chan Yong Hui / Vx

An avid gamer all his life, Vx first became serious about learning how to play the various Marvel games. However perhaps due to the fact that he was a fat and awkward kid, nobody wanted to teach him.

Happily when Marvel vs Capcom 2 was released the internet had hit a golden age, allowing for players from all over to garner advice on how to play. This coincided with the completion of his metamorphosis into the stunning looker he is today, and brought him into the merry world of competitive gaming and shit talking.

As one of the few players capable of eloquent public speaking and actually constructing grammatically correct sentences, or conversely, one of the few emcees knowledgable about video games, he has generously, through the sheer benevolence of his being volunteered his time in hosting various events at TKA Virtualand, the multi-national K.O. Episode 1 held at TGX '09 as well as the recently concluded Battle Medley Singapore 2010 and SBO Tougeki 2010 Singapore Qualifiers.

A true Chaotic Neutral, Vx is a fan of all things random and mash, as evidenced by his choice of Magneto/Sentinel/Tron in MvC2. He can often be heard before he's spotted, and is as easily identified by the constant stream of profanities and inanities coming from him as much as the grey mini-fedora he has been sporting since 2008. His proudest moments were introducing the term 'Dog' as verb, adverb, adjective and noun into bugis nomenclature, and helping to make chicken WING a sellout crowd favourite at the SBO 2010 Grand Finals.

Ore no Jonda-sama Nabeimeso Pork Floss NRVNSQR CHAOS

Jon Lim / Ore no Jonda-sama Nabeimeso Pork Floss NRVNSQR CHAOS

A boy, Jonda, X age, was found dead at the entrance of his bathroom, face down on the floor. He leaves behind nothing, not a note, just his computer turned on, navigated to a online ticketing site, he had planned to catch a afternoon movie.

The police came to a conclusion that Jonda’s death was accidental, claiming the boy came out of the shower and slipped on the floor rug. The toilet floor was indeed wet and the rug was out of place, it was a reasonable explanation. His family, knowing he was quite the klutz, decided not to pursue the matter further.

Two years later, a friend named Kyoko, who had just returned from studies aboard, hears about the shocking news and instantly visits his home. While paying her last respects in Jonda’s room, she decides to look around for a memento of sorts. Just as she leaves, she turns on his computer, for that was where most of their time was spent. Kyoko browses through his web history and through password manager, manages to excess his social networking accounts and finds a link to his online web journal…

Team Xialan

Team Xialan.

Consisting of two wildly attractive men, Team Xialan aims to be THE definitive source of fighting game commentary and video game event hosting in Singapore. Formed by players of a variety of video games, capable of switching from plinking to snapbacks, parries to dustloops, drive cancels to instant air dashes, Team Xialan commentators know their stuff.

Sick of attending events where dull and staid commentators made trite remarks showcasing their lack of knowledge for the competitions they were hosting while the audience sniggered, Team Xialan members, Vx and Jonda Nabeimeso Pork Floss NRVNSQR CHAOS, decided that they could do better. And they did.

With the hosting of numerous local and several multi-national Street Fighter tournaments at the Anime Festival Asia ’09 and TGX 2010 (The Game Xpo 2010) as well as the recently concluded Super Battle Opera Tougeki 2010 Singapore Grand Finals under their belt, Team Xialan shows up at each one handsomed up, ready to bring the hype and electrify the crowd.

Ever wished that  emcees and hosts at events would just lighten up and get that stick out of their asses?
Ever wished that gamers would put in some effort to dress up, so people would stop associating gaming with delinquency and degeneracy?

Ever wished that the crowd would get off their seats, get into the heat of things and hype it up?
Team Xialan believes in three fundamental things:

1)    Telling it like it is
2)    Looking Good
3)    Bringing the Hype

Natural extroverts, Team Xialan has no qualms about being in front of the crowd, telling them they don’t have a patriotic bone in their body if they don’t cheer for the team that’s about to represent their country. If there’s a moodkiller spoilsport in the crowd, rest assured that Team Xialan will either get him into the action, or evict him to the cheers of the crowd.

Aside from being their stunning selves Team Xialan constantly enforces an indoctrination routine of peer pressure and verbal abuse designed to make even the most decrepid of dressers ship up and reflect upon their style choice. We’re happy to report success in this regard, as evidenced by our newly reformed man, Mustapusta.

Our record speaks for itself. Every time Team Xialan has been the commentary duo at an event, the crowd gets hyped, and everyone gets into the swing of things and has a great time. From getting the crowd to chant along to combo hits to interspersing chinese and japanese commentary (always a crowd pleaser) Team Xialan brings the Hype everywhere it goes. At the recent Super Battle Opera Singapore Grand Finals, an inside joke propagated so wildly that the innocuous chicken WING. became the number one best selling item of the night.

Each and every event we go to, we generate and popularize new lingo and colloquialisms that serve to make the crowd feel like they’re part of the gang, on the inside and hip to the inside jokes, making them want to attend future events even more. We’re a friendly bunch after all, and we love making friends. Especially if they’re girls. Unless they’re ugly.


If you want someone to stand in front of your crowd, your crowd for the event that you painstakingly planned and go “hi everyone~! hehe”, get completely ignored, then mess up commentary because he thinks frame data has to do with film photography, then Team Xialan is not for you.
If you want a pair of slightly un-politically correct loudmouths well loved by the fighting game community who know the intricacies of the games in question, who will get the crowd hyped up and on their feet, who will promote the living hell out of your event while they’re coughing out blood, then we’d love to hear from you.

Love us or Hate us, drop us a mail at TeamXialan @ gmail . com