in recent times, the pages have been burned by forest trolls, bitter about endings that were seemingly too realistic, too realistic. i promise you now, we're back on track, with the bombs, with the guns, and we're going out, setting ablaze the roofs and taps and sinks and maps. where have they been? gallivanting in the ocean with the whale. where have i been? scraping the sour off my monkey skin with rusted nails. but we're back. thank you. we're back. thank you. we'll slap that shit eating grind right off your face, mop the floor with it and reeducating you on the 101 reasons why you need Team Xialan in your life. i've got something for you pussyface, man up. if your hair is ugly, man up. if your dick is small, man up. hey fuck you dogspammer, why laugh with your mouth so wide it'd fit 10 hotdogs in when we're at it at someone else and whine to your mother when we're taking the shits on you. have yourself a sense of humour and man the fuck up.
our lives are a joke. not just ours, but yours too. we're just the ones laughing the loudest and taking the piss out on everything.